Victor! Not victim!

stronger

 

You go tell that devil he is a liar! (John 8:44)

It doesn’t matter what form he takes, he can come in like a friend or like a lover (2 Corinthians 11:14)  Everything hidden, every lie told, will be revealed (Mark 4:22) Because God watches after His children.

Even if the accusations he brings were true, do not fear, do not be intimidated, and do not back down. Because our God makes ALL things new! (2 Corinthians 5:17)

The devil always has a counterfeit. He knows Who you belong to, that is why he attacks you at your most vulnerable spot.

So, you dry those tears, you shake off the dust, and you get back in the race. God is not done yet. You are not a victim, you are a victor!

Yea, I preached this to myself this evening and thought I would share it with you, in case you needed to be reminded too.

 

Fear + Unforgiveness = More Hurt

fear

Fear is a terrible thing. It robs us of joy, love, and peace.

When we hold onto fear, we can never be fully in the moment. We can’t commit to a relationship because we always have one foot out of the door… just incase.

Fear causes us to not close doors to our past. We hold onto past relationships, keep their numbers in our phones and their contacts on our facebook… just incase.

Past offenses cause us to be like Pavlovian dogs. We get close to someone and then when we start “feeling” we retreat. Because the last time we “felt something” we got hurt.

Fear makes mountains out of mole hills. It expects perfect from imperfect people. It creates standards no one is able to reach. It shines the suspicious eye on the “what ifs,” and it blocks us from truly experiencing a lasting relationship.

Yes, pain of betrayal from someone we love is very real. Almost debilitating. And though it will take time, we must come to a place of forgiveness, or we will carry the offense into the next relationship and expect the next person to right the wrong someone else has done.

We can not retrace the footsteps of a past relationship and try to recreate the old in the new.  You are not the same person you were when you were in the past relationship. Nor is the present person the person from your past.

God says, “Behold, I make all things new.” He is able to restore you. He is God of restoration and reconciliation.

Before He can make all things new, you must be willing to let go of the old, put it to death. His restoration is not to take you back to what hurt you, but to restore your spirit, your soul, to create in you a new heart.

Sometimes He will bring someone into your life most unexpectedly and she wont look like what you are used to. Even if there are similarities, you must remember, she is not the same person. God loves her as much as He loves you. She is a unique woman, with gifts and a calling. You will not recognize or appreciate her if you do not forgive and let go of the past.

You may miss out on a blessing of lasting relationship.

It is not right, nor fair, of you to enter a relationship with someone before you are ready. It takes time to heal and learn to trust again. You can not cleave if you are not willing to leave.

You will never find the perfect person. We all have our flaws and our quirks. But, if you can trust God, Who is perfect, when you are ready He will bring the imperfect person to you who will be the most perfect person for you.

Forgive freely, so you can love freely, with no fear.

 

 

My King, He is everything to me

love

There is something about Third Day that makes me feel like I am home.

Click here to be blessed.

No matter what you are going through, things change, seasons change, people change…

But, He is ONE constant…

Who is this King of Glory that persues me with his love
And haunts me with each hearing of His softly spoken words
My conscience, a reminder of forgiveness that I need
Who is this King of Glory who offers it to me
Who is this King of angels, O blessed Prince of Peace
Revealing things of Heaven and all its mysteries
My spirit?s ever longing for His grace in which to stand
Who’s this King of glory, Son of God and son of man
His name is Jesus, precious Jesus
The Lord Almighty, the King of my heart
The King of glory
Who is this King of Glory with strength and majesty
And wisdom beyond measure, the graceous King of kings
the Lord of Earth and Heaven, the Creator of all things
Who is this King of Glory, He’s everything to me
The Lord of Earth and Heaven, the Creator of all things
He is the King of glory, He’s everything to me

Walk Away

accept

It took me a while to learn this. What a tough lesson! I mean, have you ever been with that person who no matter how bad they treated you, you still find yourself apologizing to them? They could disappear for days, weeks, and when they come back they tell you it was all your fault and you… apologize?

OK, so here is the thing, no matter what their reasoning is, right or wrong, no one has a right to treat you badly. If they feel you have wronged them they have a choice to make, stay or leave. If they stay, forgive and work it out. If they leave, then let them go.

Back and forth, back and forth, is not good. Not if you want a real, mature, healthy, and growing relationship. Where is the security when you are not free to be yourself in a relationship? If you can not be yourself and you are constantly trying to please someone else to keep them, you will find you will not much like the you that you have become. And guess what? They will leave anyway.

Being with someone just for the sake of not being alone is no reason to be with someone. You are wasting your time and theirs. You are delaying the inevitable. Just let them go!

What is acceptable to you? Where are your boundaries? You better know the answer to this question, or you are in for a world of hurt.

Practice these words: “This behavior is not acceptable.”

Then my friend, when that unacceptable behavior continues, you do not have to stay. Walk away.

You can still love them, but love them from a distance. Because love, by its very definition, would never treat you poorly. I am not suggesting everything must be perfect and you must always agree on everything, but where there is no respect, trust, patience, kindness, humility,  and commitment, there is no love. You may have something, but it is not love.

(Disclosure: This post is not written for the married, I do not advocate divorce.)

 

Hunger for Fathers Love

Gods love

It doesn’t matter how old we are, we still want the love of a father.

There is something about a fathers love, his acceptance, his stamp of approval, we crave. There is a feeling of safety in the love and acceptance of a father. You know, it is like having a safety net. It gives us courage and boldness. We can venture out and not be afraid of failing, because even if we don’t succeed, the father is still there.

A father provides, loves unconditionally, and is proud.

Maybe this is why we settle for relationships that aren’t beneficial to us? Because the temporary feeling of being loved and accepted is a warm shower, a comforting blanket, a gentle kiss on the forehead. But we aren’t fooled, we know it is just temporary. That is why we hold on and struggle to let it go.

A fathers love is not to be found in a lover, a spouse. This is a different kind of love. But when we are so starving for the attention and affection of a man we regard as “strong,” we will put up with all kinds of nonsense. Dysfunctional “love” is ingrained in us from birth when we do not know the love of a father.

We have wild imaginations of what love is suppose to look like and we play our part hoping the lead character will play his part too. And he does,but it is not the love story you hoped for.

Why?

Because the heart of a father can’t be found in any other man. You can’t create what you never had. But the heart of THE FATHER can only be found in One and He says we can call Him Abba.

Abba is the Daddy who meets the boys at the door and determines if he is good enough for His daughter. Abba is the Daddy who protects us and provides for us. Abba is the One who sits us on His knee and talks with us and listens to us.

Are you tired yet? Tired of waiting for someone else to tell you how valuable you are? Tired of waiting for the promise made by someone else that will never come? Is there a little voice of truth whispering in your ear, deep into your heart, telling you to turn back?

When we consider our time here is but a vapor and that we do have a purpose, there is really no more time to be wasted with someone who is just wasting your time.

I am not crying any more. Sure I miss him. But if I am honest with myself, it may not be him that I am missing, but the “feeling” of being loved and accepted. And if I am even more real, I never even truly felt that.

So, where do we find this kind of love? This kind of protection and safety? Only through Jesus. He is the only One to lay His life down for us. He is our Father, our Redeemer, our Salvation.

 

Right from the beginning, He has called you by name. You are His. Do not be afraid when He removes someone from your life. He is Abba Daddy, He has something better for you.

You can not find yourself in another person. It is not the attention of another that defines who you are.

If you carry His Name, the Name of God, then you are someone to be cherished and loved.

He/she who finds a wife/husband, finds a good thing. Because God can and will love you through the marriage relationship. But, until that time, let Him love you right where you are. Because only when you know who you are in Him, and Who He is, will you be able to recognize and not destroy, the one He has for you.

Oh, God, may we feel You, may we feel Your hug and Your protection. May we hear You tell us how very much You love us and are proud of us. May we fully understand that through Jesus we ARE accepted by You. Anything or anyone that is not of You, please remove them and give us the strength to let go.