Victor! Not victim!



You go tell that devil he is a liar! (John 8:44)

It doesn’t matter what form he takes, he can come in like a friend or like a lover (2 Corinthians 11:14)  Everything hidden, every lie told, will be revealed (Mark 4:22) Because God watches after His children.

Even if the accusations he brings were true, do not fear, do not be intimidated, and do not back down. Because our God makes ALL things new! (2 Corinthians 5:17)

The devil always has a counterfeit. He knows Who you belong to, that is why he attacks you at your most vulnerable spot.

So, you dry those tears, you shake off the dust, and you get back in the race. God is not done yet. You are not a victim, you are a victor!

Yea, I preached this to myself this evening and thought I would share it with you, in case you needed to be reminded too.



Fear + Unforgiveness = More Hurt


Fear is a terrible thing. It robs us of joy, love, and peace.

When we hold onto fear, we can never be fully in the moment. We can’t commit to a relationship because we always have one foot out of the door… just incase.

Fear causes us to not close doors to our past. We hold onto past relationships, keep their numbers in our phones and their contacts on our facebook… just incase.

Past offenses cause us to be like Pavlovian dogs. We get close to someone and then when we start “feeling” we retreat. Because the last time we “felt something” we got hurt.

Fear makes mountains out of mole hills. It expects perfect from imperfect people. It creates standards no one is able to reach. It shines the suspicious eye on the “what ifs,” and it blocks us from truly experiencing a lasting relationship.

Yes, pain of betrayal from someone we love is very real. Almost debilitating. And though it will take time, we must come to a place of forgiveness, or we will carry the offense into the next relationship and expect the next person to right the wrong someone else has done.

We can not retrace the footsteps of a past relationship and try to recreate the old in the new.  You are not the same person you were when you were in the past relationship. Nor is the present person the person from your past.

God says, “Behold, I make all things new.” He is able to restore you. He is God of restoration and reconciliation.

Before He can make all things new, you must be willing to let go of the old, put it to death. His restoration is not to take you back to what hurt you, but to restore your spirit, your soul, to create in you a new heart.

Sometimes He will bring someone into your life most unexpectedly and she wont look like what you are used to. Even if there are similarities, you must remember, she is not the same person. God loves her as much as He loves you. She is a unique woman, with gifts and a calling. You will not recognize or appreciate her if you do not forgive and let go of the past.

You may miss out on a blessing of lasting relationship.

It is not right, nor fair, of you to enter a relationship with someone before you are ready. It takes time to heal and learn to trust again. You can not cleave if you are not willing to leave.

You will never find the perfect person. We all have our flaws and our quirks. But, if you can trust God, Who is perfect, when you are ready He will bring the imperfect person to you who will be the most perfect person for you.

Forgive freely, so you can love freely, with no fear.



My King, He is everything to me


There is something about Third Day that makes me feel like I am home.

Click here to be blessed.

No matter what you are going through, things change, seasons change, people change…

But, He is ONE constant…

Who is this King of Glory that persues me with his love
And haunts me with each hearing of His softly spoken words
My conscience, a reminder of forgiveness that I need
Who is this King of Glory who offers it to me
Who is this King of angels, O blessed Prince of Peace
Revealing things of Heaven and all its mysteries
My spirit?s ever longing for His grace in which to stand
Who’s this King of glory, Son of God and son of man
His name is Jesus, precious Jesus
The Lord Almighty, the King of my heart
The King of glory
Who is this King of Glory with strength and majesty
And wisdom beyond measure, the graceous King of kings
the Lord of Earth and Heaven, the Creator of all things
Who is this King of Glory, He’s everything to me
The Lord of Earth and Heaven, the Creator of all things
He is the King of glory, He’s everything to me

“Well,” she scratched her head. “what we have here is a soul tie.”


A soulish relationship will strengthen the soul of man rather than the spirit. It will depend on the soul (the mind, will, and emotions) rather than rely on the spirit. A soulish relationship will feed the unrenewed mind, and it will fixate on emotional gratification rather than spiritual edification. A spiritual relationship, on the other hand, is one that is built on sound biblical principles, one that honors God above all else, and one that prefers character building to emotional fulfillment. A spiritual relationship is one where each will put the other first, and where Christ-like principles will be observed in all things.

Oh, those stinkin’ soul ties, huh?

Everything starts out fine. Or at least it did with me. At first, when we talked I was feeling drawn to get into the Word more. It was wonderful! The more he spoke the Word, the more I loved him. It was like iron sharpening iron.

Surely, this is the man for me!

But then things in our relationship began to change. Quickly, I might add. We weren’t praying together as much. I do believe that was when I began to realize we weren’t going to make it. But, I held on. Why? Soul ties. Our souls were knitted together.

I don’t think these ties happen by accident, we make a choice.

The tumultuous relationship took it’s toll on me. When we were together I felt drained, tired, pensive, insecure…

But on our “off” times I felt more creative, spent more time with God.


Still I missed him during our off times. Sometimes so much so it was painful. Sure enough we would start talking again and get back together and the patterns would repeat itself. Slowly this relationship was killing my spirit. And I can’t imagine it was healthy for him either.

It is not enough to know when a relationship has gone south and you need to end it. We must take action. We must listen to wisdom. Because when we allow our emotions to give way, it can turn to anger. Then the anger gives way to other emotions, up, down, back, and forth. Then jealousy creeps in and we cling, we cry, we throw our fit. This is not love.

As my mind was wandering, and my emotions were beginning to mirror my thoughts, I heard Holy Spirit remind me, “take captive my thoughts.”

What does this mean to take captive my thoughts?

It means to reject the thoughts that serve only to upset me, hinder me, depress me, and tear me down. But we can’t just sit there with empty minds. That’s not possible. We must choose what to think on.

I like what Philippians 4:8 say’s: Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart].

When I operate from the soul, it gets me in trouble. It makes me want to lash out and defend myself. It causes

mad ladyme to hold onto something or someone so hard I choke the life out of it. It makes me say things I wish I never said, or do things I wish I never did. The end result is I end up feeling worse and now I have given the enemy more ammunition.

When I walk in the Spirit and meditate on His principles, His promises, I feel lighter, at peace, and hopeful.

There is a battle between the spirit and the flesh. The flesh wants what it wants and it wants it now. An unhealthy relationship, an unGodly soul tie, will destroy you. There is a reason someone gets under our skin. There is a reason we keep having thoughts and we feel the sense of urgency to “react”. And the reason is not God.

It is hard t let go of someone when you love them. When it comes to matters of the heart, the emotion, there is no reasoning. This is why we must be Spirit minded.

This is why we must choose wisely who we allow into our lives; who we give room to.


There are forces at work that we do not see. When we get so wrapped up in emotions we are blinded. This is a trick and how we can be convinced a snake is really our friend and just wants to be cuddled.

I was feeling hard on myself the other morning. I felt so stupid to have walked back into what God clearly wanted me to give up. Let’s call it what it is…disobedience. And the Holy Spirit so graciously brought this verse to my remembrance…

When the disciples heard this, they were completely astonished and bewildered, saying, “Then who can be saved [from the wrath of God]?” But Jesus looked at them and said, “With people [as far as it depends on them] it is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:25-26

Let’s not beat ourselves up anymore. OK?

Yea, break -ups hurt. Learn with me, when God says no, then let it be no and trust Him.

You can bag manure in as pretty a bag as you want, but in the end, it is still _ _ _ _.      You get what I am saying? It stinks!

So, if you feel the tie with someone and you struggle to let go, and you are so fixated you can hardly think of anything else to the point it is interfering with your daily life and sleep, you just might have a soul tie. Time to break it and move on.

You have to choose freedom. Recognize the images you repeat in your mind are bondage. Don’t be afraid to let it go.

And yes, I am speaking this to myself as well

Repent, forgive, let go. (Repeat if necessary)



Nothing deep… just human


Have you ever just wanted to write something so profound, so very deep, it would be like a light bulb to the minds and hearts of the reader,  and it would bring instant healing and understanding? But, instead you stare at the pc and your mind goes blank? Because truth is, the deepness you are feeling right now is like the edge of the abyss?

Yea? Me too.

In fact, I am in somewhat of  pensive mood this evening. Maybe it’s because I am tired? Maybe it’s because I kind of have a lot on my plate right now? Maybe it’s because I just want a hug and a nap?

I am feeling like the woman who weaved her way through the crowd just to touch Jesus. I am sure she was tired, too. I bet when she heard He was in town she gathered herself up and said “This is it! If I am ever going to be healed now is the time.”

Or the woman who wept at His feet? Oh,  the peace and security to just feel the coolness of the floor and the warmth of His presence. He wouldn’t even have to verbally speak. There would not be enough words in all the languages combined to  express His touch.

I am a little tired and I am feeling the weight of “aloneness.” I know that doesn’t sound very “spiritual” or much like faith, but I am human, you know.  I just want to lay myself at His feet and just rest.

My Alabaster Box

I have an alabaster box. It is a beautiful box, smooth like white marble, I am told it is made of the same type of stone that decorated Solomon’s temple.

It was a precious gift. It was kept on it’s own shelf to protect it, and the contents that would be placed inside, for safe keeping.

I was to keep every precious memento in it. And I did, at first.

I carefully placed the love given me inside the box; the love in my mothers eyes when she held me for the first time, the kisses on my forehead for comfort when I was scared at night, the safety I felt when my mom held my hand on my first trip to the dentist, the courage given to me through a wave the first time I stepped onto a school bus, the pride in my fathers voice when he bragged about how fast I could run, the wisdom from my grandmother she shared with me on the matters of the heart and how to make a delicious pot of spaghetti sauce (“nothing is to be wasted” she would say as she would empty the contents of left over meats into the sauce), the joy I felt when I made my first best friend, the flutter in my belly from my first crush, the sense of belonging when I would play ball with my cousins, the feeling of being needed when I held my dog as a child, the comfort in the words “I love you” and “I do” on my wedding day, the love that exploded in my heart when I had my first baby, the relief that came when I realized I could love my second baby as much as I did my first, the pride when I was accepted into college, the sense of purpose when I helped others, and the many joys and triumphs in between.

Over time there were other things I would place inside my alabaster box. Things I did not want others to see because they were too shameful. Like the night I overheard my parents arguing and my father wished us dead, when I heard the ugly word whore for the first time coming from my fathers mouth directed to me (I was too young to even know what a whore was), then when I lost my virginity to rape and was afraid to tell anyone because “what if my father was right?,” the terrorizing moment when I thought one more blow from my father would surely kill me, the look of satisfaction in his eyes to see me cry (so I stopped crying all together for a very long time), the fear and torment I carried from other girls who hated me, the things I had to do to survive on the streets as a young runaway, how skillful I became at manipulation and lying, the moment I realized the man I married was just like my father, the nights I laid in bed and tried to will my heart to stop beating so I would not have to wake up and face another day, the men I trusted with my heart only to be betrayed again and again, so I hid my heart away and gave them my body, the fake pride I carried in the form of a hard exterior, the fear of commitment, the reality of ruining relationships because I was too hidden in my fear, the shame of drinking in secret because I could not find relief anywhere else, the woman I became on the outside to hide the little girl on the inside, and the many sins, rejections, shame, and failures in between.

Soon I did not even want to look into my alabaster box. Every time I would open it was like opening Pandora’s box, there were so many evils in there, I could no longer see the innocence hidden beneath.  I put that box on the highest shelf and hid it behind books and trinkets, let it be covered in dust, and I swore to never touch the box again. The beautiful alabaster became very ugly to me. It now served as a reminder to me of the things I want to forget, things loathed and hated. It didn’t take long for me to forget there were also precious things in there too.

Just because I refused to put anything more into the box, does not mean I did not still gather a collection. It was like living with a hand cart so full of heavy things I couldn’t even stand up right without the weight of it pulling me down.

I began to hate. I was wrapped in self pity, shame, anger, accusation, depression, remorse, sin…

I learned a lot through the course of years. Mostly I learned how to fake it. I learned how to stuff it. I learned how to deny it.

I painted a smile on my face, became an achiever (not to be mistaken with overcomer), and learned to fake me to everyone.

But, at night, when it was quiet, when I was all alone, I would take the alabaster box off the shelf and hold it in my hands. The outside still felt smooth, wiping the dust off I could still see the beauty of the stone, but it was heavy. I knew inside the box were some precious memories, but I was afraid to open the box, because I knew I would also have to look at the things that were not so lovely. Things meant to kill me.

With tears falling onto the box, I cried out, in muffled sobs, “God! Help me! I can’t do this anymore. Take this from me.”

With the gentleness I have never known, the love I have never felt before, He opened the box, removed every hidden thing in there and laid it before me. I could not look up, my head was bowed beneath the weight of my shame and fear. I could hear the mocking voices reminding me how unworthy I was, how disgusting, ugly, and how I have done too much to be forgiven.

As I cried, He reached over and with His hand gently cupping my chin, He turned my face towards His. I did not see what I expected to see. I expected to see disgust and judgment, instead I saw love and acceptance. I saw tears in His eyes as He took each thing out of my box and held it in His hands. I saw pain in His eyes when He saw my pain. I saw understanding when He saw how I tried to hide me. I saw laughter when He held the things that made me laugh, and joy when He saw the precious things that gave me joy.

He separated the contents of my alabaster box into two piles.

With the pile of things I held close, precious, He placed them back into the box and said, “These things, My Beloved, were from me. Keep them, cherish them, share them.”

The pile that I was ashamed of, He took them, “These were not from Me, My Beloved. If you will give them to Me I will take them. They were meant to destroy you, but if you let Me, I will use them to glorify Me through your healing and your testimony.”

With that He embraced me in His arms, soon my sobs of despair became tears of joy.

“I love you, My Beloved. I am not ashamed of you. I am not angry with you. When all others turn their back on you, I will never leave you. Though your father could not love you, I have never, nor will I ever, stop loving you. My desire for you was, and is always, hope. I will fill the emptiness you feel, because that spot is reserved for Me, and in Me you will have complete healing, wholeness, deliverance, and unconditional love.”

Then He handed the box back to me. He kissed my forehead and pulled me close. I could hear His heart and it beat my name. I could feel His breath and it gave me life.

The mocking voices were silenced. The child in me laughed and skipped. The  woman in me began to blossom like a rose, each pedal opening like a bloom in the sunlight. I breathed Him in. He pulled me so close I became hidden in Him. I felt safe and loved. I felt the love of a Father. For the first time, I felt the comfort of sitting on my Fathers lap and sharing me with Him.

The love of my Father is a Daddy walking with me, holding my hand, and sharing all the wonders I see as though for a first time, laughing with my silliness, talking with me and sharing mysteries and secrets with me.

And when those moments come, when I am tempted to be scared, I feel an extra little squeeze of His hand to remind me He is there.