I miss my quiet mornings. Mornings are my time to get alone with Jesus. Just me, Jesus, my Bible, and a hot cup of a coffee.
Where I am right now (and I remind myself it is only temporary) it is difficult to get the mornings in. I fight for my peace on a daily basis. I am catching myself being grumpy and I don’t like it.
I am a morning person. I wake and I say, “good morning, it’s a brand new day.” Mornings bring a renewed hope. It is like a clean canvass to be painted on. No matter what the yesterday was, this day is a new day.
But, lately I have been waking up thinking, “argh! How many more mornings like this am I going to have to endure?”
This morning I was having my coffee and complaining to myself, in my mind. I am thinking to myself, ‘I have got to get out of here! I can’t even pray here, there are so many noisy distractions!’
Then a thought comes in, a gentle rebuke…
Really? Is it that hard? You are not staring into the face of a lion, you have no machete against your neck, you are not hiding in a cave. Do you have to be in control of everything? Press in! Learn to press in and get in His presence even when it is hard. Quit complaining and use this season to learn to press in.
It is in the chaos when I really need to press in and fight for peace. I must not be moved by things I can not change. Yea, I am reluctantly in a place I do not want to be in. I can use this time to do two things:
1. Learn to press in. Learn to stay in His peace in the midst of storms. Learn to love.
2. Get motivated!
The time of grieving is over. It is time for me to move on. It is time to let go of him, say a prayer of good-bye, leave him with a blessing (even if he will not hear it) and move forward with a grateful heart . I need to forgive him and release him. Ready or not, the time has come. I can not stay here any longer. I am not a victim, I am not weak, nor am I without resources.
So, good morning! It is a brand new day!
Thank You, Jesus, for calling me Your Beloved. Teach me how to fly like an eagle above the storms. Teach me how to ride the current of the storm and to not struggle against it. Take me higher.
I Am Not leah 