Letting Go

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So, my dog has his favorite toy. It is a donut shaped toy that squeaks when you squeeze it. He loves to play with it. He brings it to me and I throw it and he fetches it and the repetitive game continues.

But he also likes his rawhide bones. He has toys laying all over the apartment. He is worse than a toddler.

This evening I break out a fresh rawhide to give him. But he has his donut in his mouth. I could almost read his thoughts, “Oh what do I do, I want both.”

He couldn’t have the rawhide until he dropped the donut.

Isn’t this the way we are? God wants to give us something and we are reluctant to let go of what we have.

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Until we are three

grief

I found this image on facebook and though I am quite certain it is referring to the grief of the loss of a loved one through death, I believe it can also describe the grief from the loss of a relationship.

I can’t help but to wonder if in the future will I look back and think of him and all of the what ifs? I think I will. Although, I also know, it will not be as painful as it has been. There will be healing. But, I think it is natural. Especially when one of us didn’t want to end it.

It is the holiday season and with it brings a certain kind of emptiness. Where there was once love and oneness is now a void.

I saw a couple today at the bus stop. They were in a lovers embrace and oblivious of everyone around them. I had to smile to myself, because I remember feeling this way, time seems to stand still when you are in the arms of someone you love. Nothing or no one else matters and it is unimaginable that you will not always have a place there.

I am missing him.

But, even in all of the thoughts and emotions that come after a break-up, there is a knowing that this will pass. This emptiness will not always be here. My heart will beat again with love… one day.

I am a romantic at heart. I used to believe love always wins. Sometimes it doesn’t. So, the reality is I may love him, but he is not to be the love of my life. I can think of memories and smile and the sting will pass. I can even think of all the hurtful things and choose to forgive him.

Each day is a day further away from him and closer to the healing. One day I will realize I am not even thinking of him, as much. Then the day will come when I do think of him I will say a prayer… I hope he found what he is looking for.

Until then, I keep breathing, living, and hoping. The anger is leaving and I suppose that is a good sign.

I thank You, God, for complete restoration. Thank You that You are healing me and preparing me for the true romance You have for me. Until we become three, right now it is just me and You.

 

Victor! Not victim!

stronger

 

You go tell that devil he is a liar! (John 8:44)

It doesn’t matter what form he takes, he can come in like a friend or like a lover (2 Corinthians 11:14)  Everything hidden, every lie told, will be revealed (Mark 4:22) Because God watches after His children.

Even if the accusations he brings were true, do not fear, do not be intimidated, and do not back down. Because our God makes ALL things new! (2 Corinthians 5:17)

The devil always has a counterfeit. He knows Who you belong to, that is why he attacks you at your most vulnerable spot.

So, you dry those tears, you shake off the dust, and you get back in the race. God is not done yet. You are not a victim, you are a victor!

Yea, I preached this to myself this evening and thought I would share it with you, in case you needed to be reminded too.

 

Fear + Unforgiveness = More Hurt

fear

Fear is a terrible thing. It robs us of joy, love, and peace.

When we hold onto fear, we can never be fully in the moment. We can’t commit to a relationship because we always have one foot out of the door… just incase.

Fear causes us to not close doors to our past. We hold onto past relationships, keep their numbers in our phones and their contacts on our facebook… just incase.

Past offenses cause us to be like Pavlovian dogs. We get close to someone and then when we start “feeling” we retreat. Because the last time we “felt something” we got hurt.

Fear makes mountains out of mole hills. It expects perfect from imperfect people. It creates standards no one is able to reach. It shines the suspicious eye on the “what ifs,” and it blocks us from truly experiencing a lasting relationship.

Yes, pain of betrayal from someone we love is very real. Almost debilitating. And though it will take time, we must come to a place of forgiveness, or we will carry the offense into the next relationship and expect the next person to right the wrong someone else has done.

We can not retrace the footsteps of a past relationship and try to recreate the old in the new.  You are not the same person you were when you were in the past relationship. Nor is the present person the person from your past.

God says, “Behold, I make all things new.” He is able to restore you. He is God of restoration and reconciliation.

Before He can make all things new, you must be willing to let go of the old, put it to death. His restoration is not to take you back to what hurt you, but to restore your spirit, your soul, to create in you a new heart.

Sometimes He will bring someone into your life most unexpectedly and she wont look like what you are used to. Even if there are similarities, you must remember, she is not the same person. God loves her as much as He loves you. She is a unique woman, with gifts and a calling. You will not recognize or appreciate her if you do not forgive and let go of the past.

You may miss out on a blessing of lasting relationship.

It is not right, nor fair, of you to enter a relationship with someone before you are ready. It takes time to heal and learn to trust again. You can not cleave if you are not willing to leave.

You will never find the perfect person. We all have our flaws and our quirks. But, if you can trust God, Who is perfect, when you are ready He will bring the imperfect person to you who will be the most perfect person for you.

Forgive freely, so you can love freely, with no fear.

 

 

My King, He is everything to me

love

There is something about Third Day that makes me feel like I am home.

Click here to be blessed.

No matter what you are going through, things change, seasons change, people change…

But, He is ONE constant…

Who is this King of Glory that persues me with his love
And haunts me with each hearing of His softly spoken words
My conscience, a reminder of forgiveness that I need
Who is this King of Glory who offers it to me
Who is this King of angels, O blessed Prince of Peace
Revealing things of Heaven and all its mysteries
My spirit?s ever longing for His grace in which to stand
Who’s this King of glory, Son of God and son of man
His name is Jesus, precious Jesus
The Lord Almighty, the King of my heart
The King of glory
Who is this King of Glory with strength and majesty
And wisdom beyond measure, the graceous King of kings
the Lord of Earth and Heaven, the Creator of all things
Who is this King of Glory, He’s everything to me
The Lord of Earth and Heaven, the Creator of all things
He is the King of glory, He’s everything to me