A soulish relationship will strengthen the soul of man rather than the spirit. It will depend on the soul (the mind, will, and emotions) rather than rely on the spirit. A soulish relationship will feed the unrenewed mind, and it will fixate on emotional gratification rather than spiritual edification. A spiritual relationship, on the other hand, is one that is built on sound biblical principles, one that honors God above all else, and one that prefers character building to emotional fulfillment. A spiritual relationship is one where each will put the other first, and where Christ-like principles will be observed in all things.
Oh, those stinkin’ soul ties, huh?
Everything starts out fine. Or at least it did with me. At first, when we talked I was feeling drawn to get into the Word more. It was wonderful! The more he spoke the Word, the more I loved him. It was like iron sharpening iron.
Surely, this is the man for me!
But then things in our relationship began to change. Quickly, I might add. We weren’t praying together as much. I do believe that was when I began to realize we weren’t going to make it. But, I held on. Why? Soul ties. Our souls were knitted together.
I don’t think these ties happen by accident, we make a choice.
The tumultuous relationship took it’s toll on me. When we were together I felt drained, tired, pensive, insecure…
But on our “off” times I felt more creative, spent more time with God.
Still I missed him during our off times. Sometimes so much so it was painful. Sure enough we would start talking again and get back together and the patterns would repeat itself. Slowly this relationship was killing my spirit. And I can’t imagine it was healthy for him either.
It is not enough to know when a relationship has gone south and you need to end it. We must take action. We must listen to wisdom. Because when we allow our emotions to give way, it can turn to anger. Then the anger gives way to other emotions, up, down, back, and forth. Then jealousy creeps in and we cling, we cry, we throw our fit. This is not love.
As my mind was wandering, and my emotions were beginning to mirror my thoughts, I heard Holy Spirit remind me, “take captive my thoughts.”
What does this mean to take captive my thoughts?
It means to reject the thoughts that serve only to upset me, hinder me, depress me, and tear me down. But we can’t just sit there with empty minds. That’s not possible. We must choose what to think on.
I like what Philippians 4:8 say’s: Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart].
When I operate from the soul, it gets me in trouble. It makes me want to lash out and defend myself. It causes
me to hold onto something or someone so hard I choke the life out of it. It makes me say things I wish I never said, or do things I wish I never did. The end result is I end up feeling worse and now I have given the enemy more ammunition.
When I walk in the Spirit and meditate on His principles, His promises, I feel lighter, at peace, and hopeful.
There is a battle between the spirit and the flesh. The flesh wants what it wants and it wants it now. An unhealthy relationship, an unGodly soul tie, will destroy you. There is a reason someone gets under our skin. There is a reason we keep having thoughts and we feel the sense of urgency to “react”. And the reason is not God.
It is hard t let go of someone when you love them. When it comes to matters of the heart, the emotion, there is no reasoning. This is why we must be Spirit minded.
This is why we must choose wisely who we allow into our lives; who we give room to.
There are forces at work that we do not see. When we get so wrapped up in emotions we are blinded. This is a trick and how we can be convinced a snake is really our friend and just wants to be cuddled.
I was feeling hard on myself the other morning. I felt so stupid to have walked back into what God clearly wanted me to give up. Let’s call it what it is…disobedience. And the Holy Spirit so graciously brought this verse to my remembrance…
When the disciples heard this, they were completely astonished and bewildered, saying, “Then who can be saved [from the wrath of God]?” But Jesus looked at them and said, “With people [as far as it depends on them] it is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:25-26
Let’s not beat ourselves up anymore. OK?
Yea, break -ups hurt. Learn with me, when God says no, then let it be no and trust Him.
You can bag manure in as pretty a bag as you want, but in the end, it is still _ _ _ _. You get what I am saying? It stinks!
So, if you feel the tie with someone and you struggle to let go, and you are so fixated you can hardly think of anything else to the point it is interfering with your daily life and sleep, you just might have a soul tie. Time to break it and move on.
You have to choose freedom. Recognize the images you repeat in your mind are bondage. Don’t be afraid to let it go.
And yes, I am speaking this to myself as well
Repent, forgive, let go. (Repeat if necessary)