Victor! Not victim!

stronger

 

You go tell that devil he is a liar! (John 8:44)

It doesn’t matter what form he takes, he can come in like a friend or like a lover (2 Corinthians 11:14)  Everything hidden, every lie told, will be revealed (Mark 4:22) Because God watches after His children.

Even if the accusations he brings were true, do not fear, do not be intimidated, and do not back down. Because our God makes ALL things new! (2 Corinthians 5:17)

The devil always has a counterfeit. He knows Who you belong to, that is why he attacks you at your most vulnerable spot.

So, you dry those tears, you shake off the dust, and you get back in the race. God is not done yet. You are not a victim, you are a victor!

Yea, I preached this to myself this evening and thought I would share it with you, in case you needed to be reminded too.

 

“Well,” she scratched her head. “what we have here is a soul tie.”

bondage

A soulish relationship will strengthen the soul of man rather than the spirit. It will depend on the soul (the mind, will, and emotions) rather than rely on the spirit. A soulish relationship will feed the unrenewed mind, and it will fixate on emotional gratification rather than spiritual edification. A spiritual relationship, on the other hand, is one that is built on sound biblical principles, one that honors God above all else, and one that prefers character building to emotional fulfillment. A spiritual relationship is one where each will put the other first, and where Christ-like principles will be observed in all things.

Oh, those stinkin’ soul ties, huh?

Everything starts out fine. Or at least it did with me. At first, when we talked I was feeling drawn to get into the Word more. It was wonderful! The more he spoke the Word, the more I loved him. It was like iron sharpening iron.

Surely, this is the man for me!

But then things in our relationship began to change. Quickly, I might add. We weren’t praying together as much. I do believe that was when I began to realize we weren’t going to make it. But, I held on. Why? Soul ties. Our souls were knitted together.

I don’t think these ties happen by accident, we make a choice.

The tumultuous relationship took it’s toll on me. When we were together I felt drained, tired, pensive, insecure…

But on our “off” times I felt more creative, spent more time with God.

soul-ties

Still I missed him during our off times. Sometimes so much so it was painful. Sure enough we would start talking again and get back together and the patterns would repeat itself. Slowly this relationship was killing my spirit. And I can’t imagine it was healthy for him either.

It is not enough to know when a relationship has gone south and you need to end it. We must take action. We must listen to wisdom. Because when we allow our emotions to give way, it can turn to anger. Then the anger gives way to other emotions, up, down, back, and forth. Then jealousy creeps in and we cling, we cry, we throw our fit. This is not love.

As my mind was wandering, and my emotions were beginning to mirror my thoughts, I heard Holy Spirit remind me, “take captive my thoughts.”

What does this mean to take captive my thoughts?

It means to reject the thoughts that serve only to upset me, hinder me, depress me, and tear me down. But we can’t just sit there with empty minds. That’s not possible. We must choose what to think on.

I like what Philippians 4:8 say’s: Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart].

When I operate from the soul, it gets me in trouble. It makes me want to lash out and defend myself. It causes

mad ladyme to hold onto something or someone so hard I choke the life out of it. It makes me say things I wish I never said, or do things I wish I never did. The end result is I end up feeling worse and now I have given the enemy more ammunition.

When I walk in the Spirit and meditate on His principles, His promises, I feel lighter, at peace, and hopeful.

There is a battle between the spirit and the flesh. The flesh wants what it wants and it wants it now. An unhealthy relationship, an unGodly soul tie, will destroy you. There is a reason someone gets under our skin. There is a reason we keep having thoughts and we feel the sense of urgency to “react”. And the reason is not God.

It is hard t let go of someone when you love them. When it comes to matters of the heart, the emotion, there is no reasoning. This is why we must be Spirit minded.

This is why we must choose wisely who we allow into our lives; who we give room to.

snake

There are forces at work that we do not see. When we get so wrapped up in emotions we are blinded. This is a trick and how we can be convinced a snake is really our friend and just wants to be cuddled.

I was feeling hard on myself the other morning. I felt so stupid to have walked back into what God clearly wanted me to give up. Let’s call it what it is…disobedience. And the Holy Spirit so graciously brought this verse to my remembrance…

When the disciples heard this, they were completely astonished and bewildered, saying, “Then who can be saved [from the wrath of God]?” But Jesus looked at them and said, “With people [as far as it depends on them] it is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:25-26

Let’s not beat ourselves up anymore. OK?

Yea, break -ups hurt. Learn with me, when God says no, then let it be no and trust Him.

You can bag manure in as pretty a bag as you want, but in the end, it is still _ _ _ _.      You get what I am saying? It stinks!

So, if you feel the tie with someone and you struggle to let go, and you are so fixated you can hardly think of anything else to the point it is interfering with your daily life and sleep, you just might have a soul tie. Time to break it and move on.

You have to choose freedom. Recognize the images you repeat in your mind are bondage. Don’t be afraid to let it go.

And yes, I am speaking this to myself as well

Repent, forgive, let go. (Repeat if necessary)

 

 

Nothing deep… just human

touch

Have you ever just wanted to write something so profound, so very deep, it would be like a light bulb to the minds and hearts of the reader,  and it would bring instant healing and understanding? But, instead you stare at the pc and your mind goes blank? Because truth is, the deepness you are feeling right now is like the edge of the abyss?

Yea? Me too.

In fact, I am in somewhat of  pensive mood this evening. Maybe it’s because I am tired? Maybe it’s because I kind of have a lot on my plate right now? Maybe it’s because I just want a hug and a nap?

I am feeling like the woman who weaved her way through the crowd just to touch Jesus. I am sure she was tired, too. I bet when she heard He was in town she gathered herself up and said “This is it! If I am ever going to be healed now is the time.”

Or the woman who wept at His feet? Oh,  the peace and security to just feel the coolness of the floor and the warmth of His presence. He wouldn’t even have to verbally speak. There would not be enough words in all the languages combined to  express His touch.

I am a little tired and I am feeling the weight of “aloneness.” I know that doesn’t sound very “spiritual” or much like faith, but I am human, you know.  I just want to lay myself at His feet and just rest.

12 Things To Do After The Break-Up

mended_heart-copy

OK, so it’s time to move on. You know it, he knows it, and to hold on would just be prolonging the pain and heartache.

I know, its sad and feels a little surreal. The person you loved and thought would always be there is no more. It is a strange feeling, isn’t it. Those sweet texts and phone calls, knowing someone is thinking about you and cares. The comfort in knowing you are not alone. But, sigh, I digress…

You had your last contact, last text, phone call, whatever… and now it is time to let go and move forward. But how to do that?

It is not easy, but it will get better. I promise.

  1. Delete his/her text from your phone. You do not need to keep reading them and analyzing his/her words. (Draw close to God) No need to dwell on the he said/she said. You may not have been able to control the outcome of your relationship, but you can control your thoughts. Take those thoughts captive!
  2. Block his/her number so they can’t contact you later and draw you back in. Trust me, anything that could have and should have been said should have been said already. After the good bye there is nothing more to be said. (Draw close to God) This is not be cruel or spiteful. This is setting boundaries and protecting yourself. And there will be no let down when you hear your phone and it is not them. Be honest, we all been there.
  3. Gather all the pictures, gifts, etc… put them in a box or bag and get them out of your sight. I recommend throwing them away or giving them to a charity (if someone else can use them).Now, I know it is not as easy as that. Get rid of them when you are ready. But, for now, get them out of your sight. (Draw close to God) Holding onto things that are not in your future will keep you stuck in the past.
  4. Write a letter to him/her. It doesn’t mean you have to send it. (Draw close to God) But you will get everything you want to say off your chest. In the big picture, does it really matter of he/she hears it? No. Because they are not in your life anymore.
  5. Get a new hobby, or pick back up on an old one. Do the things you enjoy. (Draw close to God) Remember, you were a person before you met him/her and you are still a person.
  6. Spend time with friends. the people who know you, care about you, and can help you laugh again. Laughter is a good medicine. (Draw close to God) It is good to have reminders there is life outside of the grief.
  7. Do NOT start dating again. Give yourself time to heal and to know yourself again. (Draw close to God) Nothing good will come of starting up another relationship when you are still grieving the loss of this one. Its OK to be single, do not confuse aloneness with lonlieness. Refer back to #6.
  8. If you get stuck in your grief, seek counseling. Talk with someone. (Draw close to God) We all need help sometimes.
  9. Do Not stalk them. There is no need to check on them to see who they are talking to or what they are saying. It is really none of your business anymore. (Draw close to God) It does not matter what they are doing or who they are doing it with. He/she is not in your future. It will hinder your healing. Let it go.
  10. Be kind to yourself. Eat well, get exercise, get outside. (Draw close to God) Get dressed up for you. Take yourself on dates, go to the movies, or dinner, or whatever gives you joy. Live life!
  11. Forgive him/her. Truly. This is the key to freedom. Speak a blessing over them. (Draw close to God) Ask God to bless them. The ultimate blessing would be they also draw close to God. Trust, this will begin to heal your heart more than you can imagine. One day you will wake up and find they are not the first person on your mind. Your life will begin again and you will be able to breathe again.
  12. Speak truth over yourself (Draw close to God) Remind yourself what His Word says about you. You are His beloved.

Through it all, draw close to God. He is the Only One Who can truly heal you. He will take those pieces of your broken heart and put it back together again and He will breathe life into you.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [healing their pain and comforting their sorrow]. Psalm 147:3

You are someone. You are beautiful. You are loved.

 

Let It Go

I found this meme on facebook, from a site called changing lives. It is a simple sentence, most would think a no-brainer, but let me tell ya…

changing

 

Even when you know it is time to go, there is always a sting when it ends. Because when they walk away you question everything,

  • Was it me?
  • What did I do wrong?
  • Did they really love me?

Then you get stuck, re-play every conversation in your head, every word they spoke and how true it sounded,

  • Surely it can’t be over because I trusted them
  • They will come back when they remember how much they loved me
  • They always came back before

Then you wait, every time the cell bings you jump because it might be them. You even begin to rationalize and role play in your mind what you will say when they call, only the scenario you play out in your mind is the one where you are the leaver and you are strong. Because let’s face it; in your imagination you believe they love you.

The worse is when the end came without a good-bye. No explanation. No blow out argument. Just a ghosting. It’s as if they fell off the face of the earth. All of a sudden they do not answer your calls or text. It’s confusing, should you be angry or concerned? Do you move on? But, what if…

  • They got hit by a bus and are in a coma and they need you?
  • What if they were just diagnosed with a terminal illness and they are sparing you the grief of watching them die, they want you to continue to live and be happy; so they are sacrificing themselves for you
  • What if there is some freak disconnection between your phones and they have been trying to contact you and you didn’t even know it?

What if? What if? What if?

JUST STOP IT!

You want the truth? Here is the truth and you may want to write this down and keep it in your pocket for when you need the reminder. Re-read it until you are strong enough to just move on…

They are not the one!

Remember when you prayed for God to send you the right one? Remember the vision God gave you and the purpose He has for you? Well, that person was not the one.

And that’s OK. Really, it is OK and you will be OK.

Please stop wasting your time and energy on asking why. In the grand picture it really doesn’t matter why.

This is what matters…

Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart
And do not rely on your own insight or understanding.
In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him,
And He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way]. Proverbs 3:5-6

Because…

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you [from captivity];
I have called you by name; you are Mine! Isaiah 43 (click here)

Knowing how precious you are to God, do you not also know He will protect you? He will remove every obstacle, every derailment, and every hindrance? You have a purpose and your purpose is to glorify Him. So, when you live an obedient life to Christ, when you ask Him to remove all that is not of Him, when you truly want to fulfill your divine destiny ordained by Him Who called you, then you must let go.

If someone wants to walk away from you, then let them!

It doesn’t mean you did something wrong or could have done something different. It doesn’t even mean there is something wrong with them. It just means God has a plan for your life and that person is just not a part of it.

 

 

 

A Light for Your Path

path-lamp

Do not despise the seasons of loss, pain and heartbreak. For out of these seasons creativity is born. It can be used as a catalyst for growth and greater appreciation for all things beautiful and not so beautiful.

Don’t stay in the valley of “what if” and “if only.” This valley is a lonely walk to death.

Instead, lift your eyes to the hills, for that is where your help comes from. Your help, your healing, comes from Jesus alone. He has gone before you and He has made a way. He is all knowing and ever present. Do you truly believe He did not see this coming?

Some things are not meant for you to figure out. Are there things we could have done differently? Sure. But, my friend, we learn and we grow.

Stay close to Him, follow His voice, and He will direct your path. Faith is not faith until we put it into action. So have faith to believe He is with you and you have a future.

He is the light to your path, follow Him.

Be Free & Stay Free