It took me a while to learn this. What a tough lesson! I mean, have you ever been with that person who no matter how bad they treated you, you still find yourself apologizing to them? They could disappear for days, weeks, and when they come back they tell you it was all your fault and you… apologize?
OK, so here is the thing, no matter what their reasoning is, right or wrong, no one has a right to treat you badly. If they feel you have wronged them they have a choice to make, stay or leave. If they stay, forgive and work it out. If they leave, then let them go.
Back and forth, back and forth, is not good. Not if you want a real, mature, healthy, and growing relationship. Where is the security when you are not free to be yourself in a relationship? If you can not be yourself and you are constantly trying to please someone else to keep them, you will find you will not much like the you that you have become. And guess what? They will leave anyway.
Being with someone just for the sake of not being alone is no reason to be with someone. You are wasting your time and theirs. You are delaying the inevitable. Just let them go!
What is acceptable to you? Where are your boundaries? You better know the answer to this question, or you are in for a world of hurt.
Practice these words: “This behavior is not acceptable.”
Then my friend, when that unacceptable behavior continues, you do not have to stay. Walk away.
You can still love them, but love them from a distance. Because love, by its very definition, would never treat you poorly. I am not suggesting everything must be perfect and you must always agree on everything, but where there is no respect, trust, patience, kindness, humility, and commitment, there is no love. You may have something, but it is not love.
(Disclosure: This post is not written for the married, I do not advocate divorce.)