Until we are three

grief

I found this image on facebook and though I am quite certain it is referring to the grief of the loss of a loved one through death, I believe it can also describe the grief from the loss of a relationship.

I can’t help but to wonder if in the future will I look back and think of him and all of the what ifs? I think I will. Although, I also know, it will not be as painful as it has been. There will be healing. But, I think it is natural. Especially when one of us didn’t want to end it.

It is the holiday season and with it brings a certain kind of emptiness. Where there was once love and oneness is now a void.

I saw a couple today at the bus stop. They were in a lovers embrace and oblivious of everyone around them. I had to smile to myself, because I remember feeling this way, time seems to stand still when you are in the arms of someone you love. Nothing or no one else matters and it is unimaginable that you will not always have a place there.

I am missing him.

But, even in all of the thoughts and emotions that come after a break-up, there is a knowing that this will pass. This emptiness will not always be here. My heart will beat again with love… one day.

I am a romantic at heart. I used to believe love always wins. Sometimes it doesn’t. So, the reality is I may love him, but he is not to be the love of my life. I can think of memories and smile and the sting will pass. I can even think of all the hurtful things and choose to forgive him.

Each day is a day further away from him and closer to the healing. One day I will realize I am not even thinking of him, as much. Then the day will come when I do think of him I will say a prayer… I hope he found what he is looking for.

Until then, I keep breathing, living, and hoping. The anger is leaving and I suppose that is a good sign.

I thank You, God, for complete restoration. Thank You that You are healing me and preparing me for the true romance You have for me. Until we become three, right now it is just me and You.

 

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One thought on “Until we are three

  1. I got divorced. Nearly killed me.

    I am a street prophet now. I minister to the homeless.

    I don’t think people realize how that broken homes play a part on street homelessness. They are two expressions of the same attack on humanity.

    I have a home now. God gave me to a woman who had a home to share. I am deeply scarred by the break up of my marriage even now. I have a sensitive spot for the wife of my youth, but she is gone now. And now I have a wife who loves Jesus and opens our home for him to join us in celebrating God, us, and those who would join us.

    We are on an adventure together now. We live in God’s house. There are many mansions there. Lots to explore. Sometimes it is a bit scary, but usually it’s kind of like Edmund, Lucy, Peter and Susan finding C.S. Lewis’s Wardrobe in a big mysterious house. Miracles are like Forest Gump’s box of chocolates… you don’t know what you’re gonna get. And so the exploration/adventure is on!

    I don’t mean to sound like we never have sorrows or conflicts. And sometimes those are stubbornly hard to get through. (She and I both have scars from previous failed marriages.)

    But I invite you to check out this post on my blog:

    https://fatbeggars.wordpress.com/2015/10/19/proph-o-drama-wedding/

    for a stretch of the imagination… I hope you are blessed.

    Thank you for visiting and re-blogging… Thanks for your kind words…

    AND

    Thank you for your blog!

    Like

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