Temporary Relapse

Uh-oh… had a bad lil’ while today. I did something I shouldn’t have and it only upset me. As you can tell by my earlier post. I looked when I shouldn’t have and I saw what I didn’t want to. So, of course my emotions started to roll like a violent storm in the ocean.

But thank You, God. He didn’t let me get too carried away. He gave me a nudge and reminded He is still here. Then I remembered what He showed me just the other day. Oh how quickly I forget, huh?

There is no way I can grasp what He has for me if I wont release my disappointment, my grief, my failure, into His hand.

If God does not beat me up with my past, then why do I do it to myself? Why would I not want to let go of someone who has walked away from me? Especially knowing my Jesus would never walk away from me.

So, most days now are better and that is good. I still have those moments.

Holy Spirit, remind me, when I go to look for him, remind me to seek You. Help me to forgive him and to release him.

I am tired of hearing myself whine about him. Geesh, I hope I am not boring you to tears. If you pray to Jesus, please pray for me. My heart still hurts. I put a smile on my face, but my heart still hurts.

Tomorrow is a new day. Thank You, God, that Your mercies are new every morning.

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One thought on “Temporary Relapse

  1. I understand your hurt and frustration… You really want to move on but the temptation to revisit the past is strong – crazy, but strong. You will overcome it… this is all a part of the process. I will be praying for you and for your strength. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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