Oh what a difference a day makes, eh.
After a long night I woke to a blog post from a sister blogger that brought much encouragement. The sun was shining, took my puppy for a walk before work, had my music in my ears. Got to work and had a great day. Received a FB message from a dear sweet friend to remind me I matter and how I have ministered to her. Then spent the afternoon talking with a friend. And my day ended with a wonderful walk to a lil’ sidewalk café, where my puppy and I sat outside and enjoyed dinner watching the sun set.
This is how God works… He never leaves us alone in our moments of grief. He is in every way acquainted with our sorrows, He Himself experienced it. He knows just what to do to minister to the depths of us.
He spoke to me through people today, He encouraged me through their words and smiles, and He sang to me through a beautiful sunset.
He will always bring to light what is hidden in the darkness. Darkness is not of Him. In the dark we stumble and we are afraid. When His light shines we see the monsters we were so afraid of. The darkness makes them bigger than they actually are. They hide in the dark recesses of our minds and intimidate us with words of death, depression, discouragement.
But He brings hope and healing.
It is good to have friends in the moments we are weak. True friends help talk us down and bring us back to reality.
Today I made a declaration of letting go. I closed the door tight. And I prayed. I prayed for me and I prayed for him.
This is the weapon of warfare I have chosen to use from now on… when the waves threaten to come back, when the enemy whispers to my mind, instead of allowing depression to camp out and live rent free in my mind… I will pray. I will declare that healing come not only for myself, but for him too. I will pray for true repentance that leads to Godly sorrow, which will bring forth forgiveness and healing. I choose to love, as Christ loves. No, we will never be together again, but I can love him… from a DISTANCE.
As a blogging sister Paula Marie from the Blog letsgetpersonal101.wordpress.com said, “we all fall down and love cannot abide where unforgiveness remains.”
So, today I choose forgiveness and I receive peace. Tomorrow I will choose forgiveness and receive peace. The next day I will choose forgiveness and receive peace. It is a daily choice.
Forgiving and releasing him is not for him, it is for me. I will be free.