Oh God! I am at war! And the enemy is not out there…. the enemy is inside!
I hate… I love…. I hate…. I love….
I am tired of grieving!!!
God help me to take my thoughts captive. Increase my faith to know You are working this out. Send healing quickly! I am stuck.
I now understand what David meant when he said his pillows are wet from his tears.
Ugh!!! I feel so stupid! So middle school! Its been 41/2 months and I am still grieving. He has moved on, he is on dating sites, chatting it up, picking up where he left off over two years ago when we met. Like I never existed.
Deliver me, God! You said You are close to the broken hearted. My heart is broke. My soul is wounded. You said if You heal me I am healed…. heal me. I can’t do this on my own strength. I need You. You said Your grace is enough for me. Your loving kindness is enough for me to bear my troubles. Your strength and power are made perfect in my weakness. Help me, Holy Spirit, to glory in my weakness, knowing Your strength and power will rest on me. I want the peace that passes all understanding. Let me arise tomorrow and look back to today and say, “Ha!” I want to obedient. I want to lay down what You have said to lay down. I want to let go of who You have said to let go of. I trust You. I am hurting. Hug me, Jesus.
Yes, this too shall pass.
For I know…. ALL things will work together for my good, because I love You and I am called according to Your purpose. What could possibly separate me from the love of Christ? I am more than a conqueror through Him who loves me… neither life nor death, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate me from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus, my Lord. Not even a broken heart. Not the lies spoken to or about me. God is ALWAYS faithful and ALWAYS true.
Heal me, oh God, and I will be healed. Save me and I will be saved, for You are my praise.
Thanks for reading my ramble. Please… group hug.