Boundaries are a good thing. Healthy people set clearly defined boundaries.
People who value themselves will only allow others into their lives if they value them. There is a mutual respect and appreciation in healthy relationships. No one is perfect, but a healthy person will not tear another person down, nor will they allow themselves to be ripped apart.
I have been thinking about this. There have been relationships I have tried to maintain, simply from fear of loss, that were not good for me. In the process of trying to resurrect a dead relationship that had no future, I could have missed out on so many other opportunities in life. Why do we do that?
When healing comes we begin to see things differently. We gain a whole new perspective on what matters and what we should let go of.
Bottom line, it is not about them. It is about you and your purpose.
We all have a purpose and it is mighty hard to fulfill the purpose when we are feeling defeated, worthless, and devalued. We must love ourselves before we can love others. Love always looks for the best. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. 1. Corinthians 13:7
Philippians 4:8 says, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].
I am learning to love myself. I cannot give what I do not have. Through the renewing of my mind and knowing what He has to say about me, I am learning to set healthy boundaries. I am learning to hear that voice when it says “uh, this doesn’t sound right.” I am setting boundaries with a sign that says, ‘Love me, Love my God,’
Healthy people can say “buh-bye” without retaliation or bitterness. Sometimes it is just loving yourself enough to say, “hey, I wish you well, but what you are offering is not for me.”
If I love God, myself, and others…. then I will have something to offer and to receive. He loves us through others and through ourselves.
Boundaries are beautiful. They are the wall that keeps the enemy out. He is our refuge when we hide ourselves in Him and stay within the boundaries He has defined for us.